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A Love Letter to My 8-Year-Old Self
I love you for your joyful, radiant essence
Dear Bingjie,
I was sharing a proud childhood moment with some friends when I thought of you. Queen Elizabeth II came to Singapore for a royal visit, and our school was selected to be part of her day trip itinerary. You were so thrilled to be chosen to present a spray of orchids to her! I also remember the deep insecurities you felt then.
Yes, you used to be naturally thin, until that same year when you had chickenpox and had to stay home Ah Ma (my paternal grandmother) for two weeks. It was such torture! The only entertainment you had was through eating so much till you couldn’t even stand up properly, just so that she could praise you for ‘eating well’. I’m so sorry that happened.
Two weeks of eating like that changed you into a new person. Your classmates and teachers couldn’t even recognize you anymore! That moment was only funny for a split second, then it went to becoming just plain sad.
I remember that you felt very insecure about being chosen. Xiao Wei got chosen too, but she was chosen because of her gorgeous painting. She had incredible talent! Some older schoolmates even got to perform for the Queen! You had no clue why you got chosen. You just hoped that you won’t get deselected when they realized…
