I Write as a Way To Practice Gentleness

Because I struggle to speak coherently

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash

I’m not a fluent speaker, especially in English. So many people have told me and reassured me, after seeing me struggle to say what I wanted to say, that it’s ok since English is not my first language.

Well, English IS my first language.
Cue… awkward silence.

I do know that they say this out of compassion though. I just feel terribly embarrassed every time I hear this.

I often stumble over English sentences because I’m much more comfortable conversing in Mandarin with my loved ones. Yet, I tend to explore my thoughts in English, as the bulk of my 16 consecutive years of academic studies were taught in English.

Being naturally shy and introverted, I actually don’t speak that much in the first place. When someone asks me a question, my thoughts spring up from so many different perspectives, and I can see how they’re all interconnected, that I’m either silent in response, or I try to have a go at it and found myself speaking passionately but incoherently.

This is why I choose to write more now. There’s a gigantic thought universe forming in me and I long to map it all out and share this with more like-minded people. I started blogging more consistently in August…