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When Parenting Feels Hard, Try This Kindness Practice
Rewire your stress response to deepen your bond with your child
Recently, I chatted with my friend Ping about parenting. She’s one of those chill moms who’s quick with a light joke — even during tense moments with her teenage kids. She shared how humor often helps her break tension and reconnect with them. I love that about her.
But I don’t parent like that, even though I want to.
When I’m stressed or triggered, I find it hard to be playful. Humor doesn’t come easily to me — especially when I feel overwhelmed or disheartened by how things are going with my three young sons. I show up more serious, more agitated. And sometimes, I feel that emotional distance between us more than I’d like to admit.
That realization led me inward:
Why is it so hard to soften? And why do I get so easily agitated, even when I want to stay calm and kind?
Why It’s So Hard to Parent the Way We Wish We Could
A book that helped me understand this better is Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal by science journalist Donna Jackson Nakazawa. These five words in her book’s subtitle: Your Biography Becomes Your…