When Relationships Felt Confusing and Hard
This Relationship Coach finally learned to live, laugh, love, and say ‘no!’
Bessie Anderson Stanley, an esteemed American writer, penned a poignant poem in 1904 that aimed to unravel the essence of success, tackling the question posed in a contest: “What is success?”
The opening line of her poem reads, “He achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;” These profound words, “Live, Laugh, Love,” later surged in popularity, gracing motivational posters and adorning home decor during the late 2000s and early 2010s.
This three-word mantra stands as a poignant reminder for us all to embrace life fully, remain present in the moment, and foster resilience through a positive mindset. However, amid this recipe for a fulfilling life, one crucial ingredient seems to have been overlooked — the power to say “No” and define healthy boundaries. In our interconnected lives, we rely on one another for support, comfort, and motivation, yet these connections can also stir challenging emotions and situations.
For Dyan Ferguson, navigating the complexities of relationships was once a daunting task. This led her down the path of becoming a certified Relationship Coach, delving into the intricacies of setting and asserting healthy boundaries within relationships. Subsequently, she pursued training and certification as a MAP Practitioner, equipping herself to assist clients in rewiring their brains for fearlessness and freedom.
What are the costs of tolerating poor boundaries?
When boundaries blur and communication feels strained, it’s common to experience:
- Resentment towards loved ones, colleagues, or friends
- Heightened irritability and a tendency to blame others
- Fear of expressing one’s true self
- Excessive self-criticism and shame
- Burnout and exhaustion
- A sense of being unheard or misunderstood
Do these sentiments resonate with you? Consider the cumulative impact of harboring these emotions and energy deficits over years of navigating relationships without clear boundaries.
In such scenarios, we often find ourselves concealing our authentic selves when our needs and desires go unmet. The struggle to merely survive in an environment where we should thrive is undeniably painful.
Your unconscious mind is the missing piece
If this narrative echoes your experiences, remember, it’s not your fault. Your coping strategies stem from a belief that they are essential for survival. Yet, it’s crucial for your unconscious mind to realize that these strategies are no longer serving your best interests. Traditional relationship and boundary-building programs, along with private coaching sessions focused solely on the rational mind, may fall short in facilitating this transformative shift.
Enter the MAP Method™, a groundbreaking neuroscience-backed approach that facilitates the neutralization of painful memories and the elimination of limiting thoughts and beliefs. By releasing these hindrances, individuals can cultivate new empowering thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors conducive to healthy relationships in various spheres of life.
Dyan’s personal journey encapsulates this evolution. Initially grappling with challenges in relationships, finances, and well-being, she found herself constantly anxious and unfulfilled. While her training as a Relationship Coach shed light on the ‘Why,’ significant progress remained elusive. However, her encounter with MAP propelled her forward, empowering her to collaborate with her unconscious mind in releasing outdated coping mechanisms. This newfound mindset enabled her to assert boundaries confidently and redirect her energy toward crafting a fulfilling life.
Today, Dyan is a coach and business owner, surrounded by loving individuals and fostering balanced, mutual relationships. Her commitment extends to assisting others in reclaiming their boundaries and authentic selves through her 8-week group program, aptly named ‘Live, Laugh, Love, Say No’. By embracing this more relevant five-word mantra, we acknowledge the importance of setting healthy boundaries as a pillar of fulfilling relationships with others as with ourselves.
As you reflect on your journey and consider the impact of boundaries on your well-being, take a moment to explore Dyan’s quiz with a complimentary workbook, magnetization, and 7-day coaching via email.
How strong are your boundaries? Take this quiz to find out.
